There are two points I make to clients when they come for the first time:
- You will walk out with a different mindset than when you came in
- You have more power than you think you have
Let me explain.
- People come to therapy or coaching with a view to changing their way of looking at their problems or their life in general. They have to have the expectation that their mindset can – and will – change. It’s very common for people to come as a last resort. Their attitude is ‘I’ve tried everything else and I don’t suppose this will work but I’ll give it a try’. This is OK. In fact we usually get very good success with these people because they have a strong desire to change. They just haven’t been shown how.
- There’s a common tendency nowadays to talk about ‘blame’. The problem with blame is that it renders people powerless. It says that you can’t control your situation, it is because of someone (or something) else. People blame their workplace, their boss, their parents, their partner, their thoughts, their habits, their genes and so on. When we attribute behaviour patterns to blame we render ourselves powerless. So the doctor will say you’re suffering from a disease called ‘depression’ or ‘anxiety’ and you should take this pill for it. You have no control – it is the disease that is to blame. Instead, we talk about responsibility. What can you do now to change your situation? If you’re getting caught up in depressive or anxious thoughts than we show you how you can control your thoughts. If you are being controlled by your boss or partner we show you how you can regain control of the situation.